message.push_line("! Would you care to introduce yourself?");
message.push_line("If you're not sure where to start, perhaps you could tell us about your projects, your first computer…");
message.push_line("You should also know that we follow the Freenode Channel Guidelines: https://freenode.net/changuide, and try to avoid defamatory content.");
message.push_line("Make sure to check out ");
message.push("Make sure to check out ");
message.mention(&CONFIG.readme_channel);
message.push(" to get yourself some roles for directed pings 😊, and ");